regan's profileWhat can we learn when w...PhotosBlogListsMore Tools Help

Blog


    March 28

    hello kitty

    The castles melt back into sand that were built to high for our own good....

    The emptiness of life renewed from the shock of having to work together building something that gives to our planet and not just taking away

    I grew up in the shadow of an oil refinery nights i have watched the flame dance pushing its colors to the night sky. The news reports say that all in its wake have become sick the death known as cancer is eating the people in that shadow. People are dying from that fuel thats eating, spreading its cancer everywhere no one is safe from that hidden disease.

    But corporation is killing and its black soot is in our lungs in her lungs

    Time has become overbearing and the melody of lets drink, shop and forget has become deaf to my ears.

    We now are the whoops generation taking anything that promises satisfaction gives euphoria.

    We are the ultimate in experiments the prime in programming, pushing till we have no will but that is of our nature and you do not want to mess with nature.

    March 11

    a word and only that

    One point in time we held things to honor and respect a time when people didn't act like children. A time when bringing the modern age to the people for benefit not profit. Yes children there was a time people got paid from the banks for using their service. Responsibility has darkened most minds giving nothing to knowledge or credit. Were Failing in paying attention, letting them take control without knowing.

    We have been suckered with diamonds and the promise of the screen, believing we have nothing to gain, life sucks no pride left in the bunch. Someone else is telling you what you want you may be losing your home but you need something more always more Time is coming that we will have to stand up and take the blame for ourselves stop blaming the past. We can not change it children and living in the mistakes of the past or the blindness of the present. Take responsibility for our actions for once we need to grow up one day. The grave is coming quick if we do not stop partying and see what they have done to things. They have made a mess, from every aspect it will take many years to fix. If we do not act soon we will have handed them total control, please do not let me be forced to live your life I have love and pride over humanity we are all so beautiful and powerful. We need to remember that we are more powerful and very beautiful all leaves in a great story tree Everyone with a unique story you should all try to tell.

    January 20

    And he never left Part 2

    Things started to get worse for me the lord kept talking but I was doing anything but listening, I was walking but the others hand was blocking my ears and my view he was still whispering in to my ear promising me great lies while taking my life and dragging it to where he wanted me to be low and without god. He showed me the great things that partying can give friends and women sex and confusion. I was unlike any other child I could party with the best of them. Drinking became a tent pole to the pillar I was told I would be I was taught to have fun forget about tomorrow and to not listen to the voice that was speaking threw my soul. I was first laughed at from my peers when I talked about the love of the lord but I was welcome with open arms to the dreams and sins of man. I felt normal a false sense of security a lie beyond all lies, I took that conflict that was battling within me and I left to find my death on the streets, I put myself very low the drugs we plenty even when I had no money to buy them, voices in me would tell me where drugs were dropped where I could find more in empty streets or money to get more. All I had to do was wake up and the ability to get drunk and high was a everyday thing strangers would give me coke or pot the streets we flooded with alcohol a world of 14 years in a slumber a daze of forgetfulness while screaming at the lord who never stopped talking I could not take it any more so the thought of death entered my body. This promise the other said he would give me was just an illusion a way to keep me away from my purpose to keep me away from god. He brought ideas into my head like he was the one who was protecting me for the great things I was going to do he promised me the world and to be the destroyer of that world while in the background whispering on how useless I was how meaningless I would be to the world and my death would help so many to live better lives and I believed him. While all the while I was forgetting the words the lord told me when I was young the promise he told me that he will protect me that he will love me and never lose me in this sea of confusion. I started to believe that I was something special the deceiver that will fool the world and to take his enemies and to bury them in our wake, but deep inside I new the truth but was so blinded by greed I was to stupid to see that he was guiding me down a road of destruction. A cliff I was willing to toss myself off to help the world he made me believe that if I died the world will live longer and that my death will only bring light to others. Those lies have hung around me for many years it was not long ago when those lies were brought to the true light. He first promised me to be a great man but I was a lost soul, he promised me riches but my bed was the ground then he promised me to be a great rock star only to pick up the guitar and I would be the next best thing but that’s when I saw the hidden lie within his words, I did not even know how to play one cord how could I be the next best? Even when the lord was screaming “do not listen to those lies he is only bringing you a false image without me you will be nothing but a tool for him”. You will be nothing great with him but if you let me back in to your soul I can bring you out of that fog, I still did not listen. (Part 2)

    January 19

    And he never left

    My story has many beginnings some of conflict some of joy but nothing different then others who will read it. I was born in the hands of two who were never meant to have something pure to hold, they were not the destroyer but they did not stop him either. They held me at bay and left me in fields to play with the wolf’s only introducing chaos and confusion not love and understand. When I was young a voice came to me and told me I was going to do great things in his name I was going to grow up and become a pillar for god to hold the roof to protect his sheep from the coming storm. He told me he loves me and my walk will be hard but he will be there for me and protect me in times of trouble. After he spoke in to my heart I went to my birth father and asked him who is god who is this one who spoke to me from inside my soul. My son he said as he poured a drink and sat it down in front of me and preceded to tell me who this god was this thing that never helped him. While I started to drink I felt a slow silence within me a numbing if you will, from that point on my father never had a moment that alcohol was not around me and the more I drank the quieter that voice became. In a night of drunkenness at the age of ten or eleven another voice came on to me, a voice so much different from the first voice but calming in its effect he told me I would be a great man and will have great riches and be powerful among other men. He promised me great things and being so young I took him for the first voice but without the love. That spirit entered my soul and brought with it a presence of rebellion of dishonesty and hate I let that spirit bring me in so much trouble it brought sin upon me from thievery to sexual curiosity. My brother seeing the conflict that was within me took me to church for the first time and the lord took me and shook off the spirits that were in me and told me my son you will have to go threw many obstacles and a world full of strife to walk with me, you will be scorned by your peers your own family will forget you and laugh at you but take this as a promise I will never leave you. The Holy Spirit touched me and I shined like a penny full of new again not touched by the wickedness of man. I was blessed with a love that was taken away from me when I was so young. But the other was not going to give me away so easy he new deep down inside what I was going to do as he also knows his time is short upon this world he touched my mother and told her that my brother worshipped the devil that he was a evil man that he was harming her baby taking away the innocence that was her son and will only destroy him. She listened to his lies and took me away from my brother from god and from the fold, which was the church. I again walked in the world of man the booze flowed then the spirit of drugs entered my spirit while god spoke to me telling me how much he loved me how all I needed was to hold him close, and the wickedness of the world will pass and I will be taken a hold and nestled in his arms his caring heart will be the sounds I need to keep me walking true. While the other voice showed me the shine of this world and all the things he could give me I blocked out god and ran to the other with a head full of drugs and a heart heavy with burden (part 1)

    January 13

    unable to find solitude in this veil of artificial

    I was told the other night that i am a idiot for not understanding consumerism and i should hide under a rock if i do not want to be a part of the greater whole, but what is this so called greater whole? When i look around and see how the world has turned its back on the things that are right (nature, spiritualism and family values) and focus on the things that are before me ( plastic, cheap and to me a world of illusion) it hurts deep down inside how we can fall for such parlor tricks. Do you not see how phony things have become? We now live in a sense of gleam and follow anything that makes money, our hero's are as phony as the movies they portray, there values have become our values and when they have no soul what good are these people to tell us how to live. All we are is molds and society has been shaping us since the 1960's with television and movies, you are not this without a ipod you are not cool unless you wear this type of clothes. buy buy buy is the new freedom chant and the worst thing about it is now we have rolled over and let them do this to us. "what are our children going to become when T.V. is there babysitter?" spoiled money hungry people who have no idea who there own identify since they are cookie cut into what society wants them to be a generation of spenders. Only concerned about themselves but not thinking that if they took a little time away from shopping or the idiot box and spent a little time within there community they might be able to do some sort of change. Yesterday was another waking moment for me, i use to watch this guy on youtube and i thought he was a pretty funny and alright guy. he told the truth and was not afraid to say many things. but i was looking threw my blind eyes and when i opened them i saw what he truly was just another actor selling me stuff that i really do not need to buy. And when i stated that fact to the other people they just told me why not sell products when you have so many people watching? I looked at his little picture above his name and there he was holding a stack of bills and laughing, but i new he was laughing at us. For buying into his crap into his illusion that he hide so well from me let alone anyone else. i always thought i could see threw most bullshit but the way they are bombarding us with images just in the back of the frame or selected names from the lips when used in rants. i admit i was fooled and i can not believe i let him into my house while he was lying to me (not really in my house i am sure you know what i mean)
    January 06

    another day in my life

    Some aspects of life are so hard to understand, when we are looking for answers more questions keep popping up.
    We strive to find understanding with the new motto question everything but something's in life do not have answers.
    What can we find in the unknown when we try to make light of it.
    This is one little aspect of the day and the life of my existence, a certain question that i have never been able to answer.
    why am i here
    it was near the end of spring around 2002 i was just coming back on the street kinda giving up again in my own personal way.
    i was sitting in a park full of strangers when one of them offered me a small piece of paper that you put on your tongue.
    i sat back and closed my eyes waiting for the drug to cover my mind in a welcoming glow.
    When i woke up a hour later things began to take on new shapes, i was looking at myself in a light i did not like.
    my ego has gotten to big and the caring person i was had started to become a bitter angry man inside.
    i started walking down the street while colors and sounds were dancing to the tune of the city i was in.
    passing a mirror i saw myself the reflection i did not want to see.
    fancy clothes a backpack to new to be homeless more a stranger then the street kid i use to be.
    Trying to find the happiness of being nothing more then just a face in the crowd but understanding that past was gone.
    i walked all night while my life was flashing past me, all connecting seeing the fact i never new, that i was not in control of my world.
    like a computer program i was trained from birth to become something i still have no clue what it is.
    i could not take the idea my life was not my own i just thought i had amazing luck but if that was the case i am one in a million.
    near two in the morning sitting by the ocean i felt something get loosened from my mind.
    like a part of me just walked out the door,i felt alone i felt small like a new born child with out parents to protect.
    i sat there in fear wondering who i was and where i was going to go, i sat looking at all my materialistic short comings.
    when the sun started to rise the fear in me was so strong i need to be near people i could not be left alone any more.
    walking down the morning road many eyes were upon me i felt they were staring at the bag on my back
    junkies following me in shaded corners thieves were everywhere i looked, i feel into pieces.
    i walked to the main hangout for the lower of the low and gave everything i owned away
    i gave the boots off my feet and picked up a pair of sandals a pair of shorts and a sweater and one small blanket.
    now walking a little lighter the tears would not stop flowing from my eyes.
    people gave me the strangest looks i felt like a 28 year old baby my blue eyes red from so many tears
    and my heart holding such a heavy burden for humanity i cried for everyone seeing such violence in everyones eyes.
    then out of the blue a strange woman walked up to me and said "son i think you should grab the 73 bus across the street".
    words from someone i did not know but something in my heart told me to listen to her
    so i walked across the street when the bus pulled up right when i got there (no room for second guessing)
    i stepped on the bus and the bus driver gave me one look i saw a small tear in his eyes as he told me to just sit down
    i still do not know how he new i had no money but thats the point of my story some questions have no answers.
    i arrived at a ferry terminal one i had never been before, i stood in the center dazed looking around lost
    when a older woman came up to me pushing a handicapped boy in a wheel chair,
    she said his name was Michael and then she looked at me and said " i think this guy needs ferry money to get to salt spring island".
    she handed me the money and told me to hurry up the ferry is leaving soon
    i went and paid the clerk and walked threw the terminal being new i was again lost in the mazes of hallways.
    when a worker came up to me and said if i needed any help i showed her the ticket my eyes still full of tears.
    she took me quickly to the ferry i guess there was something wrong and the ferry was getting late on leaving the dock.
    when i arrived something told me to sit on the dock where they dropped me off and wait for the morning.
    when light came up i walked to the first store i saw and asked for a hot cup of water i was cold from the chill of the night.
    the woman at the bar bought me breakfast and a hot coffee she took me aside and told me how she was not in love,
    and that everyone needs to feel loved and welcomed in there life.
    i said thank you and left her to here daily chore.
    when i walked out of the coffee bar a woman with a guitar came up to me
    "have we met before" she said to me while taking a look up and down.
    i said no and she stated to me that she saw me in a dream and i need to go down town and look for a girl named Tomico
    i left her and started walking down the road, it took me three hour to find the town when i saw a friendly face
    just some stranger i felt would not steer me wrong and i asked him where can i find this girl?
    he told me to look in the main park and when i went there i saw a woman who was glowing.
    i sat beside her and introduced my self telling her why i have come.
    she told me "you do not have to look very far i am the woman you are looking for" but what can i do for you?
    i told her my fear of man and humanity and she held me and told me that the island you are on is a island of peace.
    there is no anger here just love and she brought me to a place to camp.
    her and three other people took care of me while i was in this simple minded state for 4 months.
    it took a while for my mind to come back but when it did i was a changed man the anger had left me and the need
    for materialistic things was again nothing of great concern.
    i have been on that same island now for four years i have found love and have been married.
    i am known threw out the island and treated with great care and love
    my vision now stronger to do good and my love for you humanity has never been stronger
    but the way we are killing ourselves is getting to much to bare.
    i feel emotions from everyone and no one is happy anymore.
    just a fake in a room of antiques.
    this is one day in the life of me i hope the story makes sense to you as it has changed my life forever

    January 05

    a long line if you fil n the blanks...

    so we have come back to this trip again you so called people looking for every single meaning in my sentence i have called you out ith my wicked ways and i do not spell against all you can say or become because what is illusion with out the debth of some simple thought and when you figure out the three then you can understand who is me
    November 27

    a question i need to ask?

    What is it that we look for in life?

    The gleam of a brand new car, the sparkle in a showcase we are unable to afford

    the respect from a fellow friend, or the admiration from your peers?

    Are we not that simple when we put glam and objects before our own soul

    strength in things we can not hold, value before or hearts?

    These days of blood and no found glory, idols on plastic pedestals hiding their addictions but telling our children what is right, weakening our own goals with there’s while following paths so stained from failure so unable to see the cliffs that are in front.

    We sit in designer cages rattling our chains of diamonds and pearls, sulking in corners chalked in police white, while spirits whisper false ideas and broken knowledge.

    Giving dreams to many but empty is our hearts when we find our golden road, black is our soul when the shine dulls from holding it so close.

    We forget the true voice that has tired of talking above your head phoned ears and then blame him when things do not go our way. We spit at creation looking only to find the science of it all, but forgetting the beauty and oneness who designed it.

    We look at the stars hoping to be them but empty and alone they must feel.

    From something small everything looks big but do you not see the peel in the paint?

    In this man made world do you not feel the fakeness of it all, does it not hurt to walk where others tried to do great things only to be brought so low.

    Maybe we all do not know how many souls are starving, its hard to feel when our own spirit is to weak to call to empty to shine a light inside.

    I fall to you and ask for your spirit to fill this emptiness inside me oh lord this shine does not do me well, this gleam and sparkle only blinds the truth that I need to fill my cup.

    I have seen the will of your creation the undying love you have tried to show the world.

    I have spread many tears for the empty ears that do not feel your presence and fight your love.

    I can not hide in the truth of man any longer; the lies taste so fowl on my tongue

    expensive prisons that have never held me but brought me so low.

    I ask of your spirit to free me from these chains I am tired of spiting out pearls, I am tired of the chaos that has plagued my mind and my heart, I only need to rest in your arms Jesus he tried to put out the light in me but you never gave up and from this day I only hold glory in your name fame from your love and kindness from your word.

    I will never come undone.

    November 22

    as times get older something's still need to shine

     

    this was written awhile ago, some will say that pain and anger should never be shared but i wrote this to help me get threw some of the pain i have been pulling around, and i hope you can share this with others who have come from broken families or confused homes. to my brothers and sisters i love them dearly and i write this not to hurt, but to express the death of the old me and the birth of the man i have become i love the world the lord and the ways i have walked and if i could change things i would not as i love the person i see in the mirror everyday i hope this helps others as it has helped me write it

    thank you regan

    I sit looking in my glass this crystal stem holding a reflection pond of past memories

    Seeing times of loneliness as concrete and strangers the only thing called family

    Sitting in empty doorways a small child scared waiting in the rain

    People walking by there faces can not hide the shame or anger

    Am I really that bad do I not get a chance like your own children?

    Some of us in life are born with trouble not asked for

    Mothers and fathers who do not care if death came from a phone call

    Wallowing in anger hands smashed tears falling as they are now

    Waiting for love from anyone hoping there is more then this

    No teddy to cuddle just a rock as my bed a rag as my clothe

    I walked for years with empty eyes down never able to look at a face

    Is that child gone or is the pain just a swallow of this wine I can taste?

    Mother did you think of me in nights of snow and wind

    Father were your hands missing someone to beat around

    Did you even blink when they called to tell you that they found your son

    In some empty alley beaten and raped by the city night

    Did you cry?

    Those days are old but the pain still lingers like the moon tonight

    Full and abusive to the stars blinding in the dark

    That child still breathes within me but the man now stands

    With a broken heart and a family of my own

    Not able to have a child the recollection would be to much a strain

    Did you even smile when I told you I was married your card did not mean much to me

    Just words with out hugs just lies with out weakness or fault

    The family has split they blame each other for the loss of togetherness

    They still cry in the night wondering if you even loved yourself

    It’s so easy to walk away from something you create even if was in the name of love

    Even if I had no love?

    Now that I have someone to hold I feel stronger inside

    But I was alone for thirty three years did you not even care

    A phone does not hold the weight of the world

    Is it that hard to admit you were wrong?

    Even as time catches you with grey hair and friends dying around you

    Those same friends you left me for I will never forget

    I guess its time to swallow this last reflection

    I do not need another tonight

    I will crawl beside the one who loves me and say to you goodnight

    November 03

    I know its long but it does have meaning

    So the thing i guess i want to talk about today is change?

    What is change words from a man or action taken from others, should we just sit back and let things fall into place or look to another for advice. We spend to much time watching others and the way they perceive the world hoping that one day someone will come and fix things for us but when has man had the right ideas. We are to consumed by greed and ego that we can not get past our own problems in life. We worry about our looks and fashion and what others are doing with no time to try to help the little guy but in truth we all are the little guy. I was born in Canada but i do not limit my thinking to just that i am a human born on earth i believe in no borders i believe we could unify this world if given the right push but words alone do not bring change only action. We as Canadians should stop looking to the united states for our answers we should stand up and show the world that if we can make a change within then it may be possible to lead by example. We are close to a united health care but if left in our governments hands they will privatize it and it will cost us more in the long run. How many of us are close to being homeless or like me just enough to pay rent but food is another matter yes i guess i could get two jobs and work the rest of my life to and save every penny so when i hit my parents age i just make enough money to pay rent from retirement. But put the cost of medication and the fact that in retirement there is no health care and you find yourself  trying to make ends meet by taking any job that pays just the right amount so it will not be deducted from my retirement check. And we wonder what will happen in the future as the baby boomers all wait in line for there piece of the pie, and what size of slice am i going to get in twenty years?? Our market fluctuates the value of money below value housing going threw the roof and the lack of low income housing to help in this crisis. We need to lead we need to take things in our own hands and stop getting blinded by the illusion of riches and greatness. Not all of us in this world want to be rich i want to be able to have my feet on the ground food in my fridge and time to spend with my family not working all the time so i never see my family. i would like to believe that someone has my back and in desperate times i could go to my government and ask for help with out feeling like scum for doing it. And most likely get turned down because there is many jobs like stock boy that pays ten dollars an hour you have no future or pride but you can still afford macaroni and cheese i am tired of this system and big business what is so hard about changing just a few things

    1 when a company like lumber that supplies a whole town with work finds that with all the legal red tape and bullshit that they have to close the doors and fire the people why can not the government come in and buy that company instead of having a whole town dry up and die bring change in the company show them that the systems does care and they will not have move there families from the homes most were born in to a bigger city where more poverty just brings more crime and drugs?

    2 Drugs i was born in Canada and all my life i have never seen one Cain field and i am pretty sure in our climate we are not able to grow cocaine plants but why is our streets flooded so much with that drug its eating us right from the core. try bringing a plastic gun threw the border or on a plane we all know the consequences of that action so how can there be so much across this country what are we as tax payers paying for or is our government making a few million watching our low income brothers and sisters drown

    3 Crime they hand slap and then push them right back on the street we are the great revolving door and things keep getting worse i am for change but if you steal for food then we need to help you find a way to help yourself but if you steal for drugs then counseling and drug addiction programs should be there to help you but if you have all those things in front of you and you keep stealing with out care for your brothers and sisters then why should we keep caring about you change comes within. but murder and violent crimes should not be swept under the rug they should be dealt with. Now if we had rule one in play we could assign work to people who are trying to make a difference and those who do not want to well then jail with only rehabilitation to help them form back into society not throwing them in a cell with other scum to watch television all day and work out lets take away the privileges that they have i know many of poor who would love three meals a day and cable and a warm roof over there heads

    Its time to mark a new era of our life time to wake up and see that greed has gotten us nowhere in this life the system is failing and we all will have to do something before it all crumbles around us do we really want to be a bigger America or part of global world change  

    October 29

    time has gotten short

    Like short fuses our time is burning away quicker then we can run
    What more can we do the kings have all gone to dust with soiled crowns
    Just knowledge wasted on walls to many mummies in museums getting older
    Stuck with weathered rules laid forth with no reason for the guilt that sowed
    History and the anger it represents a vicious circle when we are learnt never to forget
    Enemies are hard to swallow when it’s only color or religion to hate someone
    Wars of man fighting for gods long buried only weak stories remain
    Self righteousness and endless praise only remain in these thin walls
    And we expect change to come from another mans hands
    Reasons forgot we have wasted the lands and twisted the seasons
    Forecasting tomorrow with ill regard and entrusted outlooks
    Reminds me of cookies and the spoiled taste of sour milk
    Poison our product from the eyes to the ears
    And a facial crème to match if you feel “uncomfortable in your age”
    Solutions with false labels products all for the mind what really washes scars of pain
    We are fake and we all believe it we all believe it
    Corked and tossed the party sounds like its unwinding
    This echo sounds like someone else’s voice
    Their crimes lost along with empty tombs and buried dreams
    Its all related as the same as me and you
    All along I guess its all our fault look at the spill that we swim
    This raft of make-believe and human skins and a empty body to match
    Just turn the radio louder I think I can hear myself thinking
    Turn the tube on my responsibility is becoming my own
    Its my time only for me my voice only for me I am only empty

    holding sanity like pebbles in our hands

    Sitting on a ridged top snow and gray shallows surround the view
    a pale weak wind passes its bitter chill whispering sweet dreams of sleep
    radio song back drifting from all points
    one push and all tranquil will slide
    we have gotten lost
    Fancy that we meet this way
    two empty souls in this cascade of novelties and kitchenware
    shinny bowls, cell phones and magazines all to dispose
    techno trash and global whale songs lyrics we both know
    and your surprised with this smirk on my face
    this glimpse of design not as pure as your need
    and empty hollows in eyes that you past loved
    what do they care
    lets sit and share this mellow glow that runs in the hearts of man
    pointing and pushing until the fulcrum tips and sways
    we will sip the nectar of worn out grapes and sour blood
    faltering on this artificial chaos and puppets pulling strings of war
    would it not be amazing if we both walk out holding sanity
    like pebbles in our hands

    October 20

    some posts seem diffrent

    Scared sitting in back rooms counting your hard earned pay

    Majority spreading fear economy lost stocks on the fall

    Banks foreclosing while we still have to pay our debts

    The parties over for us and we never even corked the first top

    Always an escape for the elite while we common dogs get thrown some scraps

    This never ending battle of anger and suppression

    This time of shadows and fright

    Bankruptcy and shame

    They sit there on the news telling us about how things should be

    A perfect harmony of science and religion politics and rights

    All told by some other fish in the stream of things

    Who can control the uncontrollable?

    Now they put us to war against ourselves in the name of the president

    There is no more talk of change its all a race issue from here

    The stakes have gotten to high and I am afraid of the fall

    We squabble like hens all throwing the blame or fabricating lies

    Mine is better then yours

    As this mockery goes on who is not the little fish and who is just the bait

    It is not the first time both parties followed some same goal

    Some selfish scheme

    But who really can tell the future and if you could would they believe and listen

    Or get a chance to

    Would you want to sit back and let things unfold or try to wake from this slumber

    We have only little time to decide

    Gone past most ordinary days and time has gone all confused

    The limelight is stale we have seen to many same snowflakes

    What more can come as we lag behind

    As we throw everything away

    As we come undone

    October 15

    better chance changing diapers then changing our system

    Well Canada you did it again. Really now harper? harper really i mean really. a majority even minor is still a horrible thing but what can i say as of right now i am a enemy to my government but that's another story. so we let the swine have more control of our country and it only costed us a few million dollars of our tax money but hey it was worth it right?? I mean all the best for harper and his league of cronies and with bush out of office soon we will be able to see Mr.Harpers face again. So sitting listening to all around me bitch about last nights scam all i can say is what's new we bend over and take it anyway's while smiling and over apologizing for them slamming us so hard buts that's enough of our crappy leaders again as i say lets all revolt  and do something about it??

     

    the rhythm of the city an emotionless machine
    manufacturing reality shinny but unclean
    built on sand and fantasy a mirror of mirage
    reflected by the silver screen the chrome in the garage
    vision blocked by concrete callused hearts encased
    deafened by the drumbeat tongues to seared to taste
    masked by thrum of engines and the chatter of the screen
    the still small voice is buried the foot path isn't seen
    Images and idols technology devised
    words of cotton candy that dissolve before your eyes
    intellect and science worshiped by decree
    giving credit to illusion so the chained believe there free
    fundamental skeletons in self-appointed roles
    cloaking robes of office but carnivorous of souls
    speaking words that come from knowledge but do not come from light
    the letters lacking spirit adding darkness to the night

    October 12

    honesty and the quest for it

    I have been sitting thinking lately, we live now in a world full of lies rumor and bullshit. We look to others before taking chances and miss out on a whole world of excitement while consumed by our own greed. We have no hero's they faded away with morals and innocence, jut chasing the never ending false dream what we call civilized society. War and famine just coffee talk over laptops, I have sat there all of you blogging chatting and typing away no look at the other sitting beside you. Have you ever thought that the person beside you is one of your favorite poets or even a love over the net, but instead you all gather in groups looking at screens agreeing over the same issues. Over the few weeks i will let you in to a portion of my life and the ways and fate that have shaped my mind soul and life over the past 34 years i am writing this for me and a way to let others understand that we can make anything of our lives even in the worst conditions. We are all a little lost right now i understand blinded by products and the glimmer of false hope on the screen all again chasing false dreams. Honesty if very important to me it kinda separates the animals from the humans in my opinion, and now a day's everybody lies so i am going to spill some truth life is hard do not deny it. Its what makes us stronger it lets us wake up every day smiling knowing that it will not kick you down.

    Before i go on remember the past is a tool for learning do not grudge against it . We all need lessons in life just this one will not cost you anything i no something free is that not amazing???

    Fate to me is a dirty word and when i say this you must understand the circumstances that come with it, i have never had true control over my life fate that dirt whore has blown me around to many times. I spent alot of my life angry from the first day of understanding i remember it all every little secret and myth that came before me. i was a lost youth in a changing world i remember just say no i walked the me generation i am also know as generation x but all labels a side it doesn't escape the path that was laid before me and the world that surrounds. i started my life confused and kept it going threw many years. For some reason i hated life and tried to punish myself in the processes, from gutters to highways i have walked down many roads. I guess it started back to childhood a time that effects all of us they way we learn speak and associate with others........................

    time a day away

    October 03

    a little happier this time

    Well i have finally escaped the grasp of the evil that was plaguing my marriage and thank god for that.

    ok so we have the elections Americas the most funniest soap opera ever and the Canadians which as a Canadian a useless circus of blind leading the blind. so i have sat back and watched all that could be said or done by both parties on both elections, watching the American debate with the to head guys throwing blame at each other and one trying to prove who is the bigger sleaze bag. i am sorry and please do not let color get into this statement (because i know it was not my choice to be white and born in a shit hole like to parents well i will not go there but i do know i did not have a choice) because to me its all about the problems not there air bag solutions. but watching those two debate let me ask you this both parties have passed bills for senseless spending both also flip flop over answers only telling you what you want to hear is this a election or are we watching another bad reality show. both singing and dancing for the public eye as i am not a American i can not really say much but i want to say this i would not vote for any of them i do not trust there words and they will only do harm then good for your country. and i hope you all invested in gold and have it in your hands paper will fall and the ole mighty dollar will be nothing more then pretty ass wipe. and for us quiet bend over and take it Canadians also wake up none of them are good for us either. lets have a vote of no vote lets all raise our hand and voice and scream out loud  "i do not trust them to steer us right for the future i will not let them destroy my child's life before they even start to walk i will take things in my own hands and do the right thing with the help of my government

    again thank you for coming bye keep your heads high walk pure and express your voice and your rights respect all especially the children there is to much happening to them they are not getting the chance to grow, love all but at arms length as man can not be trusted

    just one voice trying to change the world

    regan

    September 30

    Fuck it

    Sullen and swollen unable to lick my wounds my tongue to dry to even try

    Only wanting tears for something to drink, only something to grasp

    The little hamster’s fear of cardiac arrest is not so much a fear anymore

    Life seems to never stop as late you all act vicious towards us?

    Sound believable to you, yea me to wasted words with even more wasted breath.

    I am tired my pillows filled with salt water from deep walks

    My eyes red from too many suns all dried up from false views

    Bones broken but still I stand, just one ugly skull when I go

    This fire running threw me death in one hand the image in the other

    So low on energy why do you harvest now?

    I can not run you will not make me I will stand against this pain

    This onslaught you throw at me your words only designed to hurt

    Why must I have something to grasp, god world I fall to you now

    I am drowning

    When things go to waste and you decide this undoing

    You all stand around this wooden box of mine

    This box of empty shells, with a filled floor of busted dreams

    As they gloat from frothed corners of spittle moistened lips

    Throw your claws in with this dirt and teeth

    In a warehouse called my soul my heart is in slow decay

    Tempted with maggots and supple honey as minds lash in mind

    Pink I heard you so well goodbye cruel world I am leaving you today

    Where is my hanging tree filled with hungry crows?

    My knots of distress something to swing over I am sure missing

    Its was such a time coming it was well worth the wait

    You park your boat of nerve in my waters

    Fish with a blind side of depth

    I do not want your hand to grasp

    You can not say goodbye I will say farewell you are not welcome

    Leave me to lick my wounds

    Let me bleed tonight

    I will call you cold tomorrow

    September 24

    what really is wiser

    I guess first things are in order with out order to begin with make sense well i hope not. what really makes sense now what we see hear or read all someone else's views or goals, all drunken drug fogged chaotic senile poor excuses for flesh and that's only our hero's. So lets all speak and not all at once we do not want ideas to pass around, or search for truth and hope. so all of you who can raise there hand and say i love my self? who has the gusto (such a funny word) kahuna's or the will to lay the track for a new beginning. I am not talking about all you false prophets that babble with false tongues and falter at truth when confronted with it.  am talking about the closed hearts that are out there release your heart my heart. we call for jesus or some other cure for the problem we face with out facing it sink or swim we must move some stones if we are trying to rebuild. i have been told to build on strong ground but nothing is what its built up to be, release your heart. Some questions must need be said so ask to the night, to a stranger you are fearful in the night. compared to everyone else there is nothing separating we are all getting screwed and drugs are destroying whatever human decency that is left. we must put aside everything to help others remember it could be you in those shoe soon with one slip. i love you release your heart mine is soaring

    September 23

    i guess a greeting is in order

    hello and

    Apache --- Yatasay Arabic --- Marhaba, Salaam Basque --- Kaixo Blackfoot --- Oki (niksokowa) Bulgarian --- Zdraveite
    Canela --- Hââ-pô Cantonese --- Néih hóu Comanche --- Maruawe, haitsi Dakota --- Hau, Han Dari --- Chotor asty
    Dutch --- Hallo, Hoi Egyptian --- Iiti (em hotep) English --- Hello, Good day, Hi Middle English --- Gode dei Old English --- Ic grete þe (thorn pronounced th) Eora --- Boodyeri kamuru Esperanto --- Saluton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Farsi --- Salaam Fijian --- Bula, Ni sa bula French --- Bonjour, Salut Ga --- Mingabu, Odze ku German --- Guten Tag, Hallo, Grüß dich Greek --- Geia sou
    Guarani --- Maitei Hawaiian --- Aloha (mai), Welina (mai) Hebrew --- Shalom, Ma nishma Hindi --- Namasté, Namaskaar
    Hopi --- Um waynuma? [ans] Owí, nu' waynuma Italian --- Buon giorno, Salve, Ciao Japanese --- Konnichi wa
    Khmer --- Sok sabai jie te Kikuyu --- Natya, Ni kwega Kiswahili --- Habari, bibi, bwana
    Lingua Franca --- Salute Low Saxon --- Goden Dag Mandarin --- Nî hâo Mongolian --- Sain baina uu
    Náhuatl --- Niltze, Cualli tonalli(n)
    Navajo --- Yá'át'ééh Norwegian --- Goddag, Hei Ojibwe --- Aanii(n) Polish --- Dzien dobry Romanian --- Bunã
    Russian --- Zdravstvuite Sanskrit --- Namo namah, SusvAgataM Scottish Gaelic --- Madainn mhath, Hallo
    Serbian --- Zdravo, Dobar dan Slovak --- Dobrý den, Ahoj, Nazdar Spanish --- Hola, Buenos días
    Swedish --- God dag Thai --- Sawatdi Tibetan --- Kam sangbo dugay, Tashidelek, Oloy
    Tulu --- Namaskaara Turkish --- Merhaba Ukrainian --- Pryvit\ Urdu --- Adaab (arz) Ute --- Mique wush tagooven
    Utshiokwe --- Moyo Uzbek --- Salaam aleikhem Vietnamese --- Chào Welsh --- Dydd da
    Wolof --- Jama ngaam Yiddish --- Ah guten tog, Sholem aleykhem Yoko --- Bo Zapotec --- Baza'o (16 other possibilities)
    Zulu --- Sawubona, Sanibonani bZuñi --- Keshi, Kesh'shi, and after that i need a drink so to all who read me in this great world of touch screens and plasma news in 64 inches of delight. we delight in so many ways from our own soundtrack on our ipod to television tivoed to our needs i guess lazy isn't the word any more i just want to wish you all happy times right now things are getting rocky soon so i hope you hold on.

    September 16

    fade out

    the song goes "we fade out again" but that does not mean in real life

    tayler email me lostrelic@hotmail.com