Things started to get worse for me the lord kept talking but I was doing anything but listening, I was walking but the others hand was blocking my ears and my view he was still whispering in to my ear promising me great lies while taking my life and dragging it to where he wanted me to be low and without god. He showed me the great things that partying can give friends and women sex and confusion. I was unlike any other child I could party with the best of them. Drinking became a tent pole to the pillar I was told I would be I was taught to have fun forget about tomorrow and to not listen to the voice that was speaking threw my soul. I was first laughed at from my peers when I talked about the love of the lord but I was welcome with open arms to the dreams and sins of man. I felt normal a false sense of security a lie beyond all lies, I took that conflict that was battling within me and I left to find my death on the streets, I put myself very low the drugs we plenty even when I had no money to buy them, voices in me would tell me where drugs were dropped where I could find more in empty streets or money to get more. All I had to do was wake up and the ability to get drunk and high was a everyday thing strangers would give me coke or pot the streets we flooded with alcohol a world of 14 years in a slumber a daze of forgetfulness while screaming at the lord who never stopped talking I could not take it any more so the thought of death entered my body. This promise the other said he would give me was just an illusion a way to keep me away from my purpose to keep me away from god. He brought ideas into my head like he was the one who was protecting me for the great things I was going to do he promised me the world and to be the destroyer of that world while in the background whispering on how useless I was how meaningless I would be to the world and my death would help so many to live better lives and I believed him. While all the while I was forgetting the words the lord told me when I was young the promise he told me that he will protect me that he will love me and never lose me in this sea of confusion. I started to believe that I was something special the deceiver that will fool the world and to take his enemies and to bury them in our wake, but deep inside I new the truth but was so blinded by greed I was to stupid to see that he was guiding me down a road of destruction. A cliff I was willing to toss myself off to help the world he made me believe that if I died the world will live longer and that my death will only bring light to others. Those lies have hung around me for many years it was not long ago when those lies were brought to the true light. He first promised me to be a great man but I was a lost soul, he promised me riches but my bed was the ground then he promised me to be a great rock star only to pick up the guitar and I would be the next best thing but that’s when I saw the hidden lie within his words, I did not even know how to play one cord how could I be the next best? Even when the lord was screaming “do not listen to those lies he is only bringing you a false image without me you will be nothing but a tool for him”. You will be nothing great with him but if you let me back in to your soul I can bring you out of that fog, I still did not listen. (Part 2)