The castles melt back into sand that were built to high for our own good....

The emptiness of life renewed from the shock of having to work together building something that gives to our planet and not just taking away

I grew up in the shadow of an oil refinery nights i have watched the flame dance pushing its colors to the night sky. The news reports say that all in its wake have become sick the death known as cancer is eating the people in that shadow. People are dying from that fuel thats eating, spreading its cancer everywhere no one is safe from that hidden disease.

But corporation is killing and its black soot is in our lungs in her lungs

Time has become overbearing and the melody of lets drink, shop and forget has become deaf to my ears.

We now are the whoops generation taking anything that promises satisfaction gives euphoria.

We are the ultimate in experiments the prime in programming, pushing till we have no will but that is of our nature and you do not want to mess with nature.

One point in time we held things to honor and respect a time when people didn't act like children. A time when bringing the modern age to the people for benefit not profit. Yes children there was a time people got paid from the banks for using their service. Responsibility has darkened most minds giving nothing to knowledge or credit. Were Failing in paying attention, letting them take control without knowing.

We have been suckered with diamonds and the promise of the screen, believing we have nothing to gain, life sucks no pride left in the bunch. Someone else is telling you what you want you may be losing your home but you need something more always more Time is coming that we will have to stand up and take the blame for ourselves stop blaming the past. We can not change it children and living in the mistakes of the past or the blindness of the present. Take responsibility for our actions for once we need to grow up one day. The grave is coming quick if we do not stop partying and see what they have done to things. They have made a mess, from every aspect it will take many years to fix. If we do not act soon we will have handed them total control, please do not let me be forced to live your life I have love and pride over humanity we are all so beautiful and powerful. We need to remember that we are more powerful and very beautiful all leaves in a great story tree Everyone with a unique story you should all try to tell.

Things started to get worse for me the lord kept talking but I was doing anything but listening, I was walking but the others hand was blocking my ears and my view he was still whispering in to my ear promising me great lies while taking my life and dragging it to where he wanted me to be low and without god. He showed me the great things that partying can give friends and women sex and confusion. I was unlike any other child I could party with the best of them. Drinking became a tent pole to the pillar I was told I would be I was taught to have fun forget about tomorrow and to not listen to the voice that was speaking threw my soul. I was first laughed at from my peers when I talked about the love of the lord but I was welcome with open arms to the dreams and sins of man. I felt normal a false sense of security a lie beyond all lies, I took that conflict that was battling within me and I left to find my death on the streets, I put myself very low the drugs we plenty even when I had no money to buy them, voices in me would tell me where drugs were dropped where I could find more in empty streets or money to get more. All I had to do was wake up and the ability to get drunk and high was a everyday thing strangers would give me coke or pot the streets we flooded with alcohol a world of 14 years in a slumber a daze of forgetfulness while screaming at the lord who never stopped talking I could not take it any more so the thought of death entered my body. This promise the other said he would give me was just an illusion a way to keep me away from my purpose to keep me away from god. He brought ideas into my head like he was the one who was protecting me for the great things I was going to do he promised me the world and to be the destroyer of that world while in the background whispering on how useless I was how meaningless I would be to the world and my death would help so many to live better lives and I believed him. While all the while I was forgetting the words the lord told me when I was young the promise he told me that he will protect me that he will love me and never lose me in this sea of confusion. I started to believe that I was something special the deceiver that will fool the world and to take his enemies and to bury them in our wake, but deep inside I new the truth but was so blinded by greed I was to stupid to see that he was guiding me down a road of destruction. A cliff I was willing to toss myself off to help the world he made me believe that if I died the world will live longer and that my death will only bring light to others. Those lies have hung around me for many years it was not long ago when those lies were brought to the true light. He first promised me to be a great man but I was a lost soul, he promised me riches but my bed was the ground then he promised me to be a great rock star only to pick up the guitar and I would be the next best thing but that’s when I saw the hidden lie within his words, I did not even know how to play one cord how could I be the next best? Even when the lord was screaming “do not listen to those lies he is only bringing you a false image without me you will be nothing but a tool for him”. You will be nothing great with him but if you let me back in to your soul I can bring you out of that fog, I still did not listen. (Part 2)

My story has many beginnings some of conflict some of joy but nothing different then others who will read it. I was born in the hands of two who were never meant to have something pure to hold, they were not the destroyer but they did not stop him either. They held me at bay and left me in fields to play with the wolf’s only introducing chaos and confusion not love and understand. When I was young a voice came to me and told me I was going to do great things in his name I was going to grow up and become a pillar for god to hold the roof to protect his sheep from the coming storm. He told me he loves me and my walk will be hard but he will be there for me and protect me in times of trouble. After he spoke in to my heart I went to my birth father and asked him who is god who is this one who spoke to me from inside my soul. My son he said as he poured a drink and sat it down in front of me and preceded to tell me who this god was this thing that never helped him. While I started to drink I felt a slow silence within me a numbing if you will, from that point on my father never had a moment that alcohol was not around me and the more I drank the quieter that voice became. In a night of drunkenness at the age of ten or eleven another voice came on to me, a voice so much different from the first voice but calming in its effect he told me I would be a great man and will have great riches and be powerful among other men. He promised me great things and being so young I took him for the first voice but without the love. That spirit entered my soul and brought with it a presence of rebellion of dishonesty and hate I let that spirit bring me in so much trouble it brought sin upon me from thievery to sexual curiosity. My brother seeing the conflict that was within me took me to church for the first time and the lord took me and shook off the spirits that were in me and told me my son you will have to go threw many obstacles and a world full of strife to walk with me, you will be scorned by your peers your own family will forget you and laugh at you but take this as a promise I will never leave you. The Holy Spirit touched me and I shined like a penny full of new again not touched by the wickedness of man. I was blessed with a love that was taken away from me when I was so young. But the other was not going to give me away so easy he new deep down inside what I was going to do as he also knows his time is short upon this world he touched my mother and told her that my brother worshipped the devil that he was a evil man that he was harming her baby taking away the innocence that was her son and will only destroy him. She listened to his lies and took me away from my brother from god and from the fold, which was the church. I again walked in the world of man the booze flowed then the spirit of drugs entered my spirit while god spoke to me telling me how much he loved me how all I needed was to hold him close, and the wickedness of the world will pass and I will be taken a hold and nestled in his arms his caring heart will be the sounds I need to keep me walking true. While the other voice showed me the shine of this world and all the things he could give me I blocked out god and ran to the other with a head full of drugs and a heart heavy with burden (part 1)